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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Funny
White
Supremacist
America
Recently
Types
Violent
Type
Humor
Talking

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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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This shed does not contain me.
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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