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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Vegetarian
Strict
Fish
Fishes
Nearly
Aren
Duck
Humor
Funny
Ducks

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
Bill Bailey
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
Bill Bailey
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Bill Bailey
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
Bill Bailey
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
Bill Bailey
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
Bill Bailey
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
Bill Bailey
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This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Bill Bailey
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
Bill Bailey
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
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I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.
Bill Bailey