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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Fish
Fishes
Nearly
Aren
Humor
Duck
Funny
Ducks
Vegetarian
Strict

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
Bill Bailey