Quote

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

Bill Bailey

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Funny
Member
Way
Department
Terrorist
Suppose
Violent
Organization
Members
Catering
Humor
Laundry

More quotes by Bill Bailey

Image
People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Bill Bailey
Image
So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Bill Bailey
Image
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
Bill Bailey
Image
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
Bill Bailey
Image
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
Bill Bailey
Image
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
Bill Bailey
Image
Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
Bill Bailey
Image
I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
Bill Bailey
Image
I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
Bill Bailey
Image
American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
Bill Bailey
Image
This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey
Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
Bill Bailey
Image
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
Bill Bailey
Image
Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
Bill Bailey
Image
Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
Bill Bailey
Image
In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
Bill Bailey
Image
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
Bill Bailey
Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Bill Bailey
Image
Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
Bill Bailey
Image
The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
Bill Bailey