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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Organization
Members
Catering
Humor
Laundry
Funny
Member
Way
Department
Terrorist
Suppose
Violent

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Bill Bailey
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
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This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Bill Bailey
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
Bill Bailey
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Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
Bill Bailey
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
Bill Bailey
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
Bill Bailey
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
Bill Bailey
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
Bill Bailey
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Bill Bailey
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
Bill Bailey
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
Bill Bailey