Quote

The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Scottish
Food
Wraps
Though
Chef
Funny
Eggs
Snack
Makes
Meat
Tasty
Need
Harder
Snacks
Take
Humor
Scotch
Great
Wrap
Needs
Bits

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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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