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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Going
Swim
Would
Fancy
People
Fellow
Indonesian
Fellows
Dolphins
Humor
Farmer
Coming
Equivalent
Saying
Cows
Funny
Farmers

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
Bill Bailey
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
Bill Bailey
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
Bill Bailey
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
Bill Bailey
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
Bill Bailey