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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Saying
Cows
Funny
Farmers
Swim
Going
Fancy
Would
Fellow
Indonesian
People
Fellows
Dolphins
Humor
Farmer
Coming
Equivalent

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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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