Quote

I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Away
Childhood
Scrambling
Kids
Doors
Badgers
Country
Humor
Knocking
Good
Playing
Foxes
Like
Game
Round
People
Games
Rounds
Funny
Fantastic
Running
Spent

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'
Bill Bailey
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
Bill Bailey
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
Bill Bailey
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Bill Bailey
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
Bill Bailey
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
Bill Bailey
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
Bill Bailey
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
Bill Bailey
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
Bill Bailey