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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
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Game
Round
People
Games
Rounds
Funny
Fantastic
Running
Spent
Away
Childhood
Scrambling
Kids
Doors
Badgers
Country
Humor
Knocking
Good
Playing
Foxes

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
Bill Bailey
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
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