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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Beats
Keyboard
Jazz
Keyboards
Humor
Loose
Comedy
Background
Sound
Backgrounds
Funny
Beat
Without
Basically
Like
Sounds
Armadillos

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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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