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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Sound
Backgrounds
Funny
Beat
Without
Basically
Like
Sounds
Armadillos
Beats
Keyboard
Jazz
Keyboards
Humor
Loose
Comedy
Background

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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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This shed does not contain me.
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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