Quote

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Surprise
Toys
Despair
Nasty
Littles
Double
Little
Sheer
Sometimes
Chocolate
Whammy
Disappointment
Disillusionment
Horrible
Kinder
English
Crave

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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This shed does not contain me.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
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How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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Thank God for Darwin, eh?
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