Quote

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Sometimes
Chocolate
Whammy
Disappointment
Disillusionment
Horrible
Kinder
English
Crave
Surprise
Toys
Despair
Nasty
Littles
Double
Little
Sheer

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says Why the long face?. The horse replies: I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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