Quote

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Littles
Double
Little
Sheer
Sometimes
Chocolate
Whammy
Disappointment
Disillusionment
Horrible
Kinder
English
Crave
Surprise
Toys
Despair
Nasty

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
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I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer Rouge, the religious persecution of the Nazis, the enforced beard-wearing from the world of folk music, and the segregation and humiliation of women from the world of golf.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
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I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'
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