Quote

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Disappointment
Disillusionment
Horrible
Kinder
English
Crave
Surprise
Toys
Despair
Nasty
Littles
Double
Little
Sheer
Sometimes
Chocolate
Whammy

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
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Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
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The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Bill Bailey