Quote

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Surprise
Toys
Despair
Nasty
Littles
Double
Little
Sheer
Sometimes
Chocolate
Whammy
Disappointment
Disillusionment
Horrible
Kinder
English
Crave

More quotes by Bill Bailey

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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
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Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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I spent money on a decent bike, a bit of kit for paddle boarding and I like bird watching so I bought a decent pair of binoculars but as far as bottles of Cristal champagne and Gucci loafers? No, blingy and showy stuff isn't me.
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I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all.
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I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
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This shed does not contain me.
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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Live comedy's a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You're only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
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Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
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People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Bill Bailey
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
Bill Bailey