Quote

Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit

Bill Bailey

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Bill Bailey
Age: 59
Born: 1965
Born: January 13
Comedian
Composer
Guitarist
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bath
Somerset
Mark Bailey
Steal
Stealing
Wild
Fruit
Animals
Animal
Come

More quotes by Bill Bailey

Image
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
Bill Bailey
Image
I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
Bill Bailey
Image
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
Bill Bailey
Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
Bill Bailey
Image
Three women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'
Bill Bailey
Image
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!
Bill Bailey
Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
Bill Bailey
Image
Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you're just doing the odd appearance, you don't know if it will carry on.
Bill Bailey
Image
The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don't have these.
Bill Bailey
Image
Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
Bill Bailey
Image
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
Bill Bailey
Image
So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
Bill Bailey
Image
This was my attempt to deter cold callers: There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message after the tone.
Bill Bailey
Image
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently.
Bill Bailey
Image
I try to appreciate the simple things. I've just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
Bill Bailey
Image
In Unity there is strength We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
Bill Bailey
Image
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
Bill Bailey
Image
Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
Bill Bailey
Image
I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
Bill Bailey
Image
This shed does not contain me.
Bill Bailey