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Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

Bette Midler

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Bette Midler
Age: 78
Born: 1945
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Honolulu
Hawaii
The Divine Miss M
Penises
Smaller
Brains
Fit
Brain
Women
Men

More quotes by Bette Midler

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It's important that you all agree on what the parameters are and what you can accomplish - and not get pissed off or beat yourself up for what you can't accomplish.
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I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.
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You have to be alert. When my daughter, Sophie, came out of the womb, she was instantly alert, as if she had been here before. And she was a little disappointed that she was here again.
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Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.
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If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
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We are all part of the ecosystem.
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Do I understand this right? I'm being marked down?
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It is true that in this culture, they throw you out when you get older. I see it all the time, especially in my business. At my age, you're playing somebody's mother - and there aren't even a lot of those roles!
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[On Princess Anne:] Such an active, outdoorsy lass. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.
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My parents have not insisted that we go to college, but she wanted us to learn. Teacher, librarian, secretary, nurse. All my siblings were employed. But I wanted to be the boss, an independent contractor.
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When it's time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.
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Most people don't deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as Chaplin or Lucille Ball.
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Without passion, the powers-that-be can run roughshod over you.
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All these children [who did not have music and art classes at school] go out into the world without knowing that there is anything other than what they have. Of course, children do look at TV, but what does it give them?
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Total contentment is only for cows.
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A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at.
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GOD is watching us, from a Distance.
Bette Midler
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I think the essence of humor has not changed. It's all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed. Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It's brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
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I've always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.
Bette Midler
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Everyone goes through their winters and springs, and their summers and autumns.
Bette Midler