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Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
Bette Midler
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Bette Midler
Age: 78
Born: 1945
Born: December 1
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Honolulu
Hawaii
The Divine Miss M
Women
Men
Penises
Smaller
Brains
Fit
Brain
More quotes by Bette Midler
If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
Bette Midler
I'd make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I'll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.
Bette Midler
I think the essence of humor has not changed. It's all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed. Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It's brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
Bette Midler
People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.
Bette Midler
Image is everything, and the voice or the idea or the song is hardly anything at all. Half the time the person isn't even doing the singing. I'm a bit cynical about this [music] business.
Bette Midler
I'm the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.
Bette Midler
I had no idea of being a star, all I knew was that I wanted to be a great actress, I wanted to work as an actress. So I thought the way I would be a great actress was to sing and dance first. Lay a foundation - get my foot in the door, and then undoubtedly, of course, I would be offered great roles as soon as I grew up enough to handle them.
Bette Midler
Marriage is such hard work. And it's full of rage and real human drama.
Bette Midler
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
Bette Midler
Humor disarms people. They don't feel threatened.
Bette Midler
Most people don't deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as Chaplin or Lucille Ball.
Bette Midler
I'm so glad to be back in New York. Los Angeles can be so cold, so cruel after you've been-what's the word?-oh yes: 'fired.'
Bette Midler
before one actually visits them, everyone tends to think of their favorite countries as one grand Disneyland filled with national monuments and historical treasures conveniently laid out for easy viewing, when what they really are filled with, of course, is people going to work, laundromats and places to buy rat poison.
Bette Midler
I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
Bette Midler
I would much rather watch myself than listen to myself. The moving is second nature, but the listening... that's the art.
Bette Midler
Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it's like a jackhammer.
Bette Midler
It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
Bette Midler
There's the media-driven universe, in which the public perceives you in a superficial way. Then there's the universe that you actually inhabit, where you have to get up even if you didn't sleep so well, and you feel like crap and your face is swollen.
Bette Midler
I'm mad about God! That's why I'm divine.
Bette Midler
For days on end, I would hardly speak, and when I did only the vilest sort of gibberish would spout forth. I became morose and fat. Unapproachable, except when eating - and then only by waiters.
Bette Midler
