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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Bernie Mac

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Bernie Mac
Age: 50 †
Born: 1957
Born: October 5
Died: 2008
Died: August 9
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Chicago
Illinois
Earth
Cigar
Play
Ice
Take
Beer
Good
Boat
People
Golf
Lobsters
Cold
Grill
Chance
Cigars
Heaven
Lobster

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The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
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Stand-up is what I am stand-up is what made me.
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Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.
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I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller.
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The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.
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Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.
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When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
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Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.
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The Bernie Mac Show' is my life. It's the truth, and I'm not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.
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Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
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Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life's way of preparing you for success.
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I learned hard lessons in life I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.
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I've been in training for stardom.
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You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.
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Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.
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Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.
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I love who I am. I love what I've become.
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If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don't be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
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I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
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