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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Bernie Mac

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Bernie Mac
Age: 50 †
Born: 1957
Born: October 5
Died: 2008
Died: August 9
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Chicago
Illinois
Cold
Grill
Chance
Cigars
Heaven
Lobster
Earth
Cigar
Play
Ice
Take
Beer
Good
Boat
People
Golf
Lobsters

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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.
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I'm not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that's what makes my comedy different.
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I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z you don't go from M to Z.
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Fear is not one of my attributes.
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I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.
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When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.
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I'm an entertainer and I really enjoy entertaining. I think if you're going to really be what you say you are, you have to really live it, work it, practice it, and think it.
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Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.
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Stand-up is what I am stand-up is what made me.
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My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.
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I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
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I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
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Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life's way of preparing you for success.
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Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you've learned your lesson.
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I don't need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don't need any of that.
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I don't care about how I look I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.
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The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
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It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, 'Why am I so black?' And she said, 'Because I'm black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.'
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I've been in training for stardom.
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You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.
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