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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.

Bernie Mac

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Bernie Mac
Age: 50 †
Born: 1957
Born: October 5
Died: 2008
Died: August 9
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Chicago
Illinois
Play
Ice
Take
Beer
Good
Boat
People
Golf
Lobsters
Cold
Grill
Chance
Cigars
Heaven
Lobster
Earth
Cigar

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I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
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I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z you don't go from M to Z.
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You're never going to see me playing a buffoon.
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The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.
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I learned hard lessons in life I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.
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Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.
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When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
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I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.
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When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.
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I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.
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It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, 'Why am I so black?' And she said, 'Because I'm black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.'
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I don't need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don't need any of that.
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I hate to compare anything, especially while I'm promoting. I feel that's another disrespect, but 'Ocean's 13' is the best movie I've ever done in my life. No question.
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I'm not a star, I hate that word, and I'm an entertainer. Stars fall, you know, I'm an entertainer. I want to be known as an entertainer.
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You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.
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As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
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Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.
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I have so much respect for what's funny.
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Stand-up is what I am stand-up is what made me.
Bernie Mac