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Bernard Manning
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Bernard Manning
Age: 76 †
Born: 1930
Born: August 13
Died: 2007
Died: June 18
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Manchester
England
Bernard John Manning
Anymore
Funny
More quotes by Bernard Manning
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.
Bernard Manning
I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
Bernard Manning
If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.
Bernard Manning
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
Bernard Manning
You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe
Bernard Manning
I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.
Bernard Manning