Quote

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Bernard Manning

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Bernard Manning
Age: 76 †
Born: 1930
Born: August 13
Died: 2007
Died: June 18
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Manchester
England
Bernard John Manning
Saying
Note
Funny
Holiday
Xmas
Kids
Bought
Festive
Birthday
Batteries
Clever
Included
Christmas
Merry
Notes
Santa
Fun
Toys

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.
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I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.
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You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe
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We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
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Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.
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I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
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If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.
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