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I hate smoothies. Because they won't offer Firestone IPA beer as an ingredient.

Berkeley Breathed

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Berkeley Breathed
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: June 21
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Cartoonist
Comics Artist
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Berke Breathed
Hate
Smoothies
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Beer
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More quotes by Berkeley Breathed

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I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn't exist.
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I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards.
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Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family.
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I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.
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I'll confess right here that I secretly wish I'd have drawn a strip about a little boy with a fake tiger, going for adventures throughout the universe in spaceships of his imagination.
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I knew 'Mars Needs Moms! ' would be a movie seconds after the title came to mind. Similarly, I also knew that my daughter would be calling me a dork as a default term of endearment eventually.
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I paint digitally now. A pity, in some ways, as the biggest price one pays is that you no longer have a finished piece of physical art to hang on a wall. I miss that terribly.
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Liberal, shmiberal. That should be a new word. Shmiberal: one who is assumed liberal, just because he's a professional whiner in the newspaper. If you'll read the subtext for many of those old strips, you'll find the heart of an old-fashioned Libertarian. And I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.
Berkeley Breathed
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If I could have drawn a cat yelling for lasagna every day for 15 years and have them pay me $30 million to do so, I would have.
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I grew up in Los Angeles and always wished I'd spent a childhood in a far different place.
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And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.
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The universe throws us some obvious little pitches sometimes, and we need to be awake enough not to let them slip by.
Berkeley Breathed
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Some of us find our lives abridged even before the paperback comes out.
Berkeley Breathed
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'Harry Potter' shouldn't be children's first experience with suspense and plot turns.
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I happen to think nearly everybody - especially those one might find in the odd issue of 'People' magazine, including me - is frightfully boring, especially me. And Tom Cruise. Tom and I are alike in only this way.
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I don't get fan mail. It disappeared with the digital revolution.
Berkeley Breathed
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A mind is a terrible thing. All this evolution nonsense is making me feel like a complete APE!
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My post-child period resulted in one instant change: I write shorter books for kids.
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I can say that even in the midst of my most cynical comic stripping: Opus shone through with a bit of heart, anchoring the ugly proceedings with a comforting pull of emotion.
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That's the conundrum of cartoon stripping, as opposed to political cartoons. When your anger is the driving force of your drawing hand, failure follows. The anger is OK, but it has to serve the interests of the heart, frankly.
Berkeley Breathed