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You're mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund

Ben Elton

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Ben Elton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 3
Actor
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Lyricist
Novelist
Playwright
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Pinch
Pension
Ladies
Fund
Bits
Much
Every
Mugging

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The worst thing about being a great power is when you're not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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I see dull people as projects ... to be reformed
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool - that's for dictators
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I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I'd never used it. I'm 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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I don't know what people who I've never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things - but I'm proud of the fact I've remained close to everyone I've ever worked with.
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If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write.
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I'm easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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I loved writing 'Two Brothers' more than anything else I have written. It's the first book I've written that I've always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.
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I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.
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And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish.
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I did not vote Labour because they've heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they've read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
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