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The first rule about a black woman’s hair is you don’t talk about a black woman’s hair. And the second rule is you don’t ever touch a black woman’s hair without getting written permission first.
Ben Aaronovitch
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Ben Aaronovitch
Age: 60
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Inner and Outer London
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More quotes by Ben Aaronovitch
Conflict resolution,' said Nightingale. 'Is this what they teach at Hendon these days?' 'Yes, sir,' I said. 'But don't worry, they also teach us how to beat people with phone books and the ten best ways to plant evidence.
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Holy paranormal activity, Nightingale - to the Jag mobile.
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Landscaping is the great cardinal sin of modern architecture. It's not your garden, it's not a park - it's a formless patch of grass, shrubbery and the occasional tree that exists purely to stop the original developer's plans from looking like a howling concrete wilderness.
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Are they really gods? I never worry about theological questions, said Nightingale. They exist, they have power and they can breach the Queen's peace - that makes them a police matter.
Ben Aaronovitch
Questions would be asked. Answers would be ignored.
Ben Aaronovitch
What do you think you're doing?
Ben Aaronovitch
He was calling it an atonic seizure because, even if he didn't know why it had happened, it was important to give it a cool name.
Ben Aaronovitch
You know, your species [humans] has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity in trying to destroy itself.
Ben Aaronovitch
The motto of West African cooking is that if the food doesn't set fire to the tablecloth the cook is being stingy with the pepper.
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...don't ask me why I know what an Edwardian smoking jacket looks like: let's just say it has something to do with Doctor Who and leave it at that.
Ben Aaronovitch
When you're a boy your life can be measured out as a series of uncomfortable conversations reluctantly initiated by adults in an effort to tell you things that you either already know or really don't want to know.
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Carved above the lintel were the words SCIENTIA POTESTAS EST. Science points east, I wondered? Science is portentous, yes? Science protests too much. Scientific potatoes rule. Had I stumbled on the lair of dangerous plant geneticists?
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This is your brain on magic.
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I gave the prescribed Metropolitan Police first greeting. Oi! I said What do you think you're doing?
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...good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like base-jumping or crocodile-wrestling.
Ben Aaronovitch
My dad once told me that the secret to a happy life was never to start something with a girl unless you were willing to follow wherever it led. It's the best piece of advice he has ever given me, and probably the reason I was born.
Ben Aaronovitch
The study of the victim is called victimology because everything sounds better with and ology tacked on the end.
Ben Aaronovitch
On the plus side, there were no rioters in sight but on the minus side this was probably because everywhere I looked was on fire.
Ben Aaronovitch
Coffee arrived and the espresso was excellent, like an aromatic electric fence.
Ben Aaronovitch
If you find yourself talking to the police, my advice is to stay calm but look guilty it's your safest bet.
Ben Aaronovitch
