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The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.

Barbara Deming

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Barbara Deming
Age: 67 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 23
Died: 1984
Died: August 2
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Culture
Careful
Another
Listen
Stories
Longer
Find
Simply
Real
Opinion
Commonality
Life
Attention
Exchange
Peace
Opinions
Lives
Diversity

More quotes by Barbara Deming

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Gandhi once declared that it was his wife who unwittingly taught him the effectiveness of nonviolence. Who better than women should know that battles can be won without resort to physical strength? Who better than we should know all the power that resides in noncooperation?
Barbara Deming
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Surely all of us are nerved by one another, catch courage from one another.
Barbara Deming
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We learn best to listen to our own voices if we are listening at the same time to other women-whose stories, for all our differences, turn out, if we listen well, to be our stories also.
Barbara Deming
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Our own pulse beats in every stranger's throat.
Barbara Deming
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The injunction that we should love our neighbors as ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves as we love our neighbors.
Barbara Deming
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We believe, in fact, that the one act of respect has little force unless matched by the other - in balance with it... The acting out of that dual respect I would name as precisely the source of our power.
Barbara Deming
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Think first of the action that is right to take, think later about coping with one's fears.
Barbara Deming
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Nonviolent actions are by their nature androgynous. In them the two impulses that have long been treated as distinct, 'masculine' and 'feminine,' the impulse of self-assertion and the impulse of sympathy, are clearly joined the very genius of nonviolence, in fact, is that it demonstrates them to be indivisible, and so restores human community.
Barbara Deming
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A great many of us must move from words to acts - from words of dissent to acts of disobedience.
Barbara Deming
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I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision. . . is one that abandons the concept of naming enemies and adopts a concept familiar to the nonviolent tradition: naming behavior that is oppressive.
Barbara Deming
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We cannot live without our lives
Barbara Deming
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To resort to power one need not be violent, and to speak to conscience one need not be meek.
Barbara Deming
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Of course it can be said of jails, too, that they try - by punishing the troublesome - to deter others. No doubt, in certain instances this deterrence actually works. But generally speaking it fails conspicuously.
Barbara Deming
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What is the revolution that we need? We need to dissolve the lie that some people have a right to think of other people as their property. And we need at last to form a circle that includes us all, in which all of us are seen as equal... We do not belong to the other, but our lives are linked we belong in a circle of others.
Barbara Deming
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After the revolution, it might very well remain necessary to place people where they could not do harm to others. But the one under restraint should be cut off from the rest of society as little as possible.
Barbara Deming
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I learned always to trust my own deep sense of what I should do, and not just obediently trust the judgment of others - even others better than I am.
Barbara Deming
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The point is to change one's life. The point is not to give some vent to the emotions that have been destroying one the point is so to act that one can master them now.
Barbara Deming
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People may find it more comfortable to listen to us if we equivocate, but in the long run only words that discomfort them are going to change our situation.
Barbara Deming
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Let me be really here, here in this place and this time where I am.
Barbara Deming
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People who attack others need rationalizations for doing so. We undermine those rationalizations.
Barbara Deming