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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
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Maybe
Religion
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First
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More quotes by Aziz Ansari
London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
Aziz Ansari
I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
Aziz Ansari
What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
Aziz Ansari
I prefer being totally sober myself.
Aziz Ansari
I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Aziz Ansari
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Aziz Ansari
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari
I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
Aziz Ansari
Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
Aziz Ansari
I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
