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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Show
Jobs
Shows
Would
Remotely
Interesting
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
Aziz Ansari
I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
Aziz Ansari
I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari
I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
Aziz Ansari
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
Aziz Ansari
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari
My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
Aziz Ansari
I prefer being totally sober myself.
Aziz Ansari
I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
Aziz Ansari
No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
