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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Would
Remotely
Interesting
Show
Jobs
Shows

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
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If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
Aziz Ansari
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
Aziz Ansari
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
Aziz Ansari
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
Aziz Ansari
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
Aziz Ansari
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari
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I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
Aziz Ansari
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
Aziz Ansari
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari