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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
None
Shown
Women
Twice
Matter
Pick
Giving
Strategy
Time
Favorite
Picks
Constantly
Robbed
Keys
Strategies
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
No one's trying to get with jugglers.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
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If it's possible, I binge. There are other shows, like 'The Americans' and 'Game of Thrones,' I watch and have to wait a week.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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I've never done online dating.
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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