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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Time
Favorite
Picks
Constantly
Robbed
Keys
Strategies
None
Shown
Women
Twice
Matter
Pick
Giving
Strategy
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
Aziz Ansari
As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari
Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari
You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari
The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
Aziz Ansari
