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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
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Happens
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Stilts
Looks
Whats
Make
Legs
Like
Cutting
Worst
Happen
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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