Quote

Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Happens
Look
Stilts
Looks
Whats
Make
Legs
Like
Cutting
Worst
Happen
Use

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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
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I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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