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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Story
Sense
Helping
Makes
Helps
Stories
Jokes
Character
Characters
Trying
Movie
Make
Sure
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
Aziz Ansari
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari
I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari
Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari
I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
Aziz Ansari
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
Aziz Ansari
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
Aziz Ansari
I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
Aziz Ansari
To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
Aziz Ansari
I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
Aziz Ansari
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari
