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You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Stand
Play
Really
Would
Men
Like
Treat
Treats
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari
My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
Aziz Ansari
Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
Aziz Ansari
I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
Aziz Ansari
Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
Aziz Ansari
Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
Aziz Ansari
I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
Aziz Ansari
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
Aziz Ansari
I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari
I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
Aziz Ansari