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Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Pull
Totally
Yeah
Ready
Getting
Natural
Strings
Littles
Divorce
Little
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari
One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
Aziz Ansari
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari
I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
Aziz Ansari
Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari
If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
Aziz Ansari
Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
Aziz Ansari
Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
Aziz Ansari
You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
Aziz Ansari
I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
