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Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Littles
Strings
Little
Divorce
Pull
Totally
Yeah
Ready
Getting
Natural
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari
I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari
If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
Aziz Ansari
Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
Aziz Ansari
As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
Aziz Ansari
I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
Aziz Ansari
Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
Aziz Ansari
If it's possible, I binge. There are other shows, like 'The Americans' and 'Game of Thrones,' I watch and have to wait a week.
Aziz Ansari
When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
Aziz Ansari
It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
Aziz Ansari
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari