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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Never
Horses
Horse
Lose
Loses

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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I've never done online dating.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
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You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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