Quote

When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Never
Horses
Horse
Lose
Loses

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
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You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Aziz Ansari