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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Never
Horses
Horse
Lose
Loses

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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