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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Never
Horses
Horse
Lose
Loses
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
Aziz Ansari
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
Aziz Ansari
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
Aziz Ansari
Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
Aziz Ansari
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
Aziz Ansari
No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
Aziz Ansari
I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
Aziz Ansari
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
Aziz Ansari
I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
Aziz Ansari
I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari
In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari