Quote

What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Read
Lobster
Times
Text
Order
Cheese
Able
Red
Even
Couldn
Wouldn
Movie
Friends
Biscuits

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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
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I've never done online dating.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.
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One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
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