Quote

One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Men
Standing
Ballers
Love
Usually
Bridesmaid
Life
Behinds
Bridesmaids
Behind
Prettiest
Position
Speeches
Goal
Drunk
Best
Goals
Make
Speech

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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
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If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
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Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
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