Quote

One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Make
Speech
Men
Standing
Ballers
Love
Usually
Bridesmaid
Life
Behinds
Bridesmaids
Behind
Prettiest
Position
Speeches
Goal
Drunk
Best
Goals

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
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If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan. And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
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I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
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What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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