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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Walking
Shoe
Carpet
Red
Everywhere
Shoes
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
Aziz Ansari
Come cook food with me and do nothing.
Aziz Ansari
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
Aziz Ansari
You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
Aziz Ansari
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Aziz Ansari
If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
Aziz Ansari
In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
Aziz Ansari
Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
Aziz Ansari
I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
Aziz Ansari
I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
Aziz Ansari
Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
Aziz Ansari
The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
Aziz Ansari
Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
Aziz Ansari
I've never done online dating.
Aziz Ansari
Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
Aziz Ansari
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
Aziz Ansari
If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
Aziz Ansari