Quote

Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Walking
Shoe
Carpet
Red
Everywhere
Shoes

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
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You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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I've never done online dating.
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Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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