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No one's trying to get with jugglers.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Jugglers
Trying

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You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.
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My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
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I've never done online dating.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
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Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
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In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.
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Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.
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Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.
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