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No one's trying to get with jugglers.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Jugglers
Trying

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.
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I've never done online dating.
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It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.
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I like the brand Band of Outsiders. Their suits are cut really slim, for smaller framed gentlemen.
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Aziz Ansari
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Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
Aziz Ansari
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
Aziz Ansari
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If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
Aziz Ansari
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I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.
Aziz Ansari