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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Music
Floor
Little
Plays
Play
Hot
Roomba
Player
Cruises
Guy
Strapped
Call
Cruise
Around
Robots
Littles
Cleaning
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
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I'm the kind of person, if I see something, like a funny video, I want to share it. With Twitter and Tumblr you can do that on a mass scale, and people get to know your personality.
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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
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I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.
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When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't even know who Ginuwine is.
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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.
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I prefer being totally sober myself.
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The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.
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It's much more fun to share and laugh at the bad times and the frustrations. I find you get a much deeper connection with the audience that way.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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I guess after college, I just got really into food. I also think going on the road doing stand-up makes you more into food. Because when you travel like that, one of the things to do is find really good places to eat.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
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When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.
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