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Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on.

Aziz Ansari

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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Whole
Comedians
Hits
Brand
Brands
Comedian
Rely
Hour
Hours

More quotes by Aziz Ansari

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Come cook food with me and do nothing.
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I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't, but I thought: 'What the hell?' So I went to an open mic night, and I liked it.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
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I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
Aziz Ansari
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Everyone's first thought is These women are going to take advantage of you or Someone's only going to date you because you're famous. That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.
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Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.
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Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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I'm like an elephant, ok? If I walk into a room, it's like, OK, he's in there.
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You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
Aziz Ansari
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No one's trying to get with jugglers.
Aziz Ansari
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You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.
Aziz Ansari
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A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
Aziz Ansari
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Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?
Aziz Ansari
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Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
Aziz Ansari
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I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.
Aziz Ansari
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
Aziz Ansari
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I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.
Aziz Ansari