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You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.
Aziz Ansari
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Aziz Ansari
Age: 41
Born: 1983
Born: February 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Television Actor
Columbia
South Carolina
Aziz Ishmael Ansari
Aziz Ismail Ansari
Someone
Matter
Great
Shitty
Treats
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Moving
More quotes by Aziz Ansari
I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.
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If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.
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I've never done online dating.
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Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!
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Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
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I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.
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To be honest, I tend to romanticize the past, and though I appreciate all the conveniences of modern life, sometimes I yearn for simpler times.
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You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!
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The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.
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Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie.
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If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.
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Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.
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I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
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If it's possible, I binge. There are other shows, like 'The Americans' and 'Game of Thrones,' I watch and have to wait a week.
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With stand-up, it's more interesting to hear about people's failures than their successes.
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Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
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London seems to be a town with a lot of comedy fans and people that really enjoy stand-up.
Aziz Ansari
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.
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Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting games, or whatever.
Aziz Ansari